Happy Birthday to ME!Since my husband is ANTI-BLOG, I will toot my own horn for my birthday which was on Tuesday. Many thanks for all the birthday wishes that day, I felt so special! Surprisingly, I was not into my birthday this year like I have been every other year! :) What can I say, I think birthday's should be a big deal and celebrated! After all, our time here on earth is so small and births are so miraculous ( I should know, I've experienced 5). So I turned 27 (which makes me laugh, not sure why). Many people think I'm older than I am (again, not sure why) I doubt it has anything to do with my maturity, because as most of you know I am not all that "mature". Hahahaha! I guess I just never actually saw myself being older than 25? again, hahaha! I don't really feel old, wait, yes I do! I had 4 kids in 3.5 years, you bet your bum I feel old. and it doesn't help that my Wii Fit age is 34! (How a stupid little computer thought that up is beyond me.) Allie I think your Wii is broken! Or I hope it is broken!
So my Birthday was uneventful while being very eventful, Tuesday's are a CRAZY day. The whole family was working and Jared had to work late. Jared's family was so kind to shower me with gifts on Sunday (Thank you). So Jared and I did the celebrating on Wednesday. He had a great Surprise planned, Grammie was there to babysit, but It didn't happen cause we have 4 kids and in order for us to do anything the stars have to align and that just wasn't gonna happen that day. (we were too late to make our reservation at Chef Mickey's in Orlando where we were engaged) But we did go out to Applebee's (my restaurant choice) and of course because of my old age, I was too tired and didn't feel good so we were home by 8pm! It was still a great night. I had a lot of fun with Jared. (Thanks again Grammie) No gift yet, I'm still trying to decide between a boob job or a new car! (decisions, hahahaha!!!) :)
Anyways, I am about to get way too personal. I have been feeling the need to share but have been afraid of letting too much info out there. However, this is therapeutic for me and who knows, maybe it could help someone else. Plus I recently came across this blog "Seriously so blessed". Hilarious, this gal pretty much posts nonsense, poking fun of a majority of us bloggers who only post the best things about our lives. Which I don't think is a bad thing cause if you knew the knitty gritty truth, you probably wouldn't read my blog. Hahaha! (I think I'm funny today) So since I am guilty of being "Seriously so blessed", and for the sake of "keeping it real", I will let you in on a little secret of mine... I have been struggling! and have been for the last year (the 27th year). My job as a mother of 4 is difficult! It would be for anybody! In my old age of 27, I have become a perfectionist. If you are or have ever been a mother you may already know that being a perfectionist and a mom at the same time just doesn't work! If you don't know that yet let me tell you, "IT JUST DOESN"T WORK"! I learned this the VERY hard way. A good friend told me yesterday to be FLEXIBLE! "If you are flexible than you will never get bent out of shape!" This is my new motto (so thank you Mar Dean). I have also learned that I am not invincible! I have been burning the candle at both ends for way too long. I have 4 kids and a husband who rely on me for a lot. I need to be healthy! Which I have recently learned how to do. The recipe for healthy MIND & body is Sleep, Nutrition and Exercise. Go figure! Plus, some things have got to give! It is not possible to have your own business, over due your church calling, be a craft-a-holic, scrapbook for 6 people, volunteer at school, do the laundry, keep the house immaculate, be a good wife to your husband and be the kind of Mom you want to be to your children! Some things you have to let go of! I only chose to hold tight to, my husband, my children, myself, and Church calling. And all I can do is try to do the best I can, which is not perfect. This has been the hardest lesson for me because I want to do it all and I want to do it big, and perfect! I don't want to slow down but I must! I cannot do it all! I want to, but can't do it! I have realized that My Heavenly Father only expects me to do the best I can. He doesn't expect perfection. It just isn't possible or obtainable! I know that he knows me, what I can and can not handle, and I will do my best and I KNOW he WILL be there to pick up the rest.
Elder Holland gave a talk in General Conference which I loved! The Ministry of Angels found here.
"My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.”13 On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal."
I have been blessed with many "mortal" angels around me at this time. I am so grateful for the love and support of those around me. Grammie and Julie, I'm talking about you! Thank you and I love you both, so much!!!
This is already way to wordy of a post but my mom sent this email to me today and I just had to share. It is a talk she gave in Sacrament meeting and it was just what I needed to hear! Thanks Mom, you hit the nail right on the head!!! I Love you!
*For those of you who do not know my mother, she is a mother to 10, grandmother to 19. She has been a widow and is married to the very best, but very busy, energetic, on the go Dad! Looking back on my past, I have come to learn that my parents are also angels. They did the best they could. I don't know that I could have done all that they have done. But I have learned that I cannot compare myself to them or anyone else. We are different people. Our strengths and weaknesses are different. But, I know they are strong and I am proud!
Overcoming Temptation & Discouragement
Oct 15, 2000 – Sacrament Meeting Talk
1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
When Paul found out what my topic was, I could see that little smirk come across his face and that look in his eye – I, too, knew in my heart that the Lord was answering both of our prayers. Paul knew, as I did, that the Lord wanted me to “study it out in my own my mind; then…if it be right, He will cause that my bosom shall burn within me; therefore, I shall feel that it is right.” (D&C 9:8) We all know that the person preparing a talk learns the most and this is a rather important lesson for me to be reminded of. I do appreciate this opportunity to learn and grow.
Although I do not feel that I am necessarily faced with gigantic “temptations” in my life…I do frequently suffer from discouragement and depression as many of us do! We all lead very busy lives – I would guess that if we made a list of all of our responsibilities and “things that we HAD to do” each day, that we could very well get discouraged! Balancing our lives is NOT easy! We are pulled in so many directions that it is difficult for some of us to stay focused on what is truly important.
I teach full time, I volunteer one day a week in my son’s classroom at Castillero, I’m the cheerleading advisor at the high school, I serve in the Primary every Sunday, I have a very large family, and an extremely organized and energetic husband that I try to keep up with. I am frequently asked, “How do you do it?” I often respond, “Not very well sometimes. I do drop the ball and sometimes things just don’t get done.” Then of course…I get discouraged!
How do we overcome temptation & discouragement? I went to the Scriptures, in the Topical Guide, for help. I chose to look up Temptation in the Book of Mormon – I figured the Bible would refer me to Job, but I’ve always seen Job as a “superhero” who could leap tall buildings with a single bound to be able to endure all that was placed before him. I was curious to see what the Book of Mormon had to say about Temptation. In addition to a whole column of scripture references that tell us to “keep the commandments & pray” was a list of related topics like “Adversity, Agency, Devil, Entice, Probation, Prove, Seduce – but no “DISCOURAGEMENT?” So I went to the Bible and found two columns of scriptures that tell us to “keep the commandments & pray,” but when I turned to Discouraged in the Bible’s Topical Guide – there in bold print was the word “AFRAID!” Deuteronomy 1:21 caught my eye and I read, “…fear not, neither be discouraged.” What is it that we are “afraid” of? Fear is exactly what Satan wants – fear creates doubt & doubt shakes our confidence.
As children of God, we have been given many promises and one of the most comforting promises is found right here in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. I do not believe Satan looks for BIG ways to “tempt” us, it is in those small and everyday weaknesses that chip away at the foundation of our character that threaten us. Keeping the commandments & prayer is the best way to safeguard ourselves from temptation & discouragement.
I look around in this room and I see many personal heroes who strengthen me every time that I see you. You may not think that your examples are significant, but I testify to you that I draw great strength from my associations with you. Surrounding yourself with good people who are striving to live the gospel is a great way to strengthen ourselves. By putting yourself in the “mainstream” of activity, you can draw strength from others. By serving and allowing others to serve you, you are helping others “escape or overcome” the temptations and discouragements that they face.
I would like to close by sharing a small part of one of my favorite books, The Little Stream by Barry Ellsworth. Most of us are familiar with the primary song, “Give! Said the Little Steam.” And just like that song, the little stream in this story was happiest as it was “Hurrying down the hill.” It begins with a thunderstorm high in the mountains. As the rain water collects, of course it creates a wonderful little stream that hurries down the mountain side and everything the little stream touches becomes vibrant with life…
“On its way…the little stream continued to give freely to all it met…and accomplished so much. But after doing so much good work…it was moving a little more slowly… because parts of the little stream were becoming tired. So they stopped to rest. They rested in small, dark holes at the side of the stream. But not knowing what they were doing…being unfamiliar with dark holes…sometimes…they got stuck. When they did they became dark like the holes…isolated, frightened…stagnant and sick. And they tried as best they could to get out of the little holes. And some of them did. And they were relieved as the joined the stream again. For as they moved within the stream…they were cleansed of their sickness…purified and revitalized. And they taught the rest of the little stream…not to do what they had done. They said the small, dark holes were scary…and that if they stayed in them too long…they’d become dark like the holes…and get stagnant and sick. They said it was better to stick together…within the stream as One…to just keep moving…be happy and thankful…and stay out of the little, black holes.”
Brothers & Sisters, it is my prayer that we can all recognize those small dark holes of temptation & discouragement and try to avoid them by staying in the safety of the “gospel current” of the little stream. By keeping the commandments and praying we will find happiness and strength to bear all things, in the name of Jesus Christ – AMEN.
Oct 15, 2000 – Sacrament Meeting Talk
1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
When Paul found out what my topic was, I could see that little smirk come across his face and that look in his eye – I, too, knew in my heart that the Lord was answering both of our prayers. Paul knew, as I did, that the Lord wanted me to “study it out in my own my mind; then…if it be right, He will cause that my bosom shall burn within me; therefore, I shall feel that it is right.” (D&C 9:8) We all know that the person preparing a talk learns the most and this is a rather important lesson for me to be reminded of. I do appreciate this opportunity to learn and grow.
Although I do not feel that I am necessarily faced with gigantic “temptations” in my life…I do frequently suffer from discouragement and depression as many of us do! We all lead very busy lives – I would guess that if we made a list of all of our responsibilities and “things that we HAD to do” each day, that we could very well get discouraged! Balancing our lives is NOT easy! We are pulled in so many directions that it is difficult for some of us to stay focused on what is truly important.
I teach full time, I volunteer one day a week in my son’s classroom at Castillero, I’m the cheerleading advisor at the high school, I serve in the Primary every Sunday, I have a very large family, and an extremely organized and energetic husband that I try to keep up with. I am frequently asked, “How do you do it?” I often respond, “Not very well sometimes. I do drop the ball and sometimes things just don’t get done.” Then of course…I get discouraged!
How do we overcome temptation & discouragement? I went to the Scriptures, in the Topical Guide, for help. I chose to look up Temptation in the Book of Mormon – I figured the Bible would refer me to Job, but I’ve always seen Job as a “superhero” who could leap tall buildings with a single bound to be able to endure all that was placed before him. I was curious to see what the Book of Mormon had to say about Temptation. In addition to a whole column of scripture references that tell us to “keep the commandments & pray” was a list of related topics like “Adversity, Agency, Devil, Entice, Probation, Prove, Seduce – but no “DISCOURAGEMENT?” So I went to the Bible and found two columns of scriptures that tell us to “keep the commandments & pray,” but when I turned to Discouraged in the Bible’s Topical Guide – there in bold print was the word “AFRAID!” Deuteronomy 1:21 caught my eye and I read, “…fear not, neither be discouraged.” What is it that we are “afraid” of? Fear is exactly what Satan wants – fear creates doubt & doubt shakes our confidence.
As children of God, we have been given many promises and one of the most comforting promises is found right here in 1 Corinthians 10:13 – There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. I do not believe Satan looks for BIG ways to “tempt” us, it is in those small and everyday weaknesses that chip away at the foundation of our character that threaten us. Keeping the commandments & prayer is the best way to safeguard ourselves from temptation & discouragement.
I look around in this room and I see many personal heroes who strengthen me every time that I see you. You may not think that your examples are significant, but I testify to you that I draw great strength from my associations with you. Surrounding yourself with good people who are striving to live the gospel is a great way to strengthen ourselves. By putting yourself in the “mainstream” of activity, you can draw strength from others. By serving and allowing others to serve you, you are helping others “escape or overcome” the temptations and discouragements that they face.
I would like to close by sharing a small part of one of my favorite books, The Little Stream by Barry Ellsworth. Most of us are familiar with the primary song, “Give! Said the Little Steam.” And just like that song, the little stream in this story was happiest as it was “Hurrying down the hill.” It begins with a thunderstorm high in the mountains. As the rain water collects, of course it creates a wonderful little stream that hurries down the mountain side and everything the little stream touches becomes vibrant with life…
“On its way…the little stream continued to give freely to all it met…and accomplished so much. But after doing so much good work…it was moving a little more slowly… because parts of the little stream were becoming tired. So they stopped to rest. They rested in small, dark holes at the side of the stream. But not knowing what they were doing…being unfamiliar with dark holes…sometimes…they got stuck. When they did they became dark like the holes…isolated, frightened…stagnant and sick. And they tried as best they could to get out of the little holes. And some of them did. And they were relieved as the joined the stream again. For as they moved within the stream…they were cleansed of their sickness…purified and revitalized. And they taught the rest of the little stream…not to do what they had done. They said the small, dark holes were scary…and that if they stayed in them too long…they’d become dark like the holes…and get stagnant and sick. They said it was better to stick together…within the stream as One…to just keep moving…be happy and thankful…and stay out of the little, black holes.”
Brothers & Sisters, it is my prayer that we can all recognize those small dark holes of temptation & discouragement and try to avoid them by staying in the safety of the “gospel current” of the little stream. By keeping the commandments and praying we will find happiness and strength to bear all things, in the name of Jesus Christ – AMEN.
I hope you don't mind me being myself. I have many flaws, my life is not perfect, I argue with my husband and yell at my kids. But I love them dearly and CANNOT imagine my life without them! Jared, Cori, Jake, Jason and Lucie have taught me SO much about my self that I know that my life is the way that it is for a specific reason. I need to slow down and just enjoy my life as CRAZY as it can be. I know I can be happy just doing that! :) I am so grateful for my Savior. I know he truly knows me and suffered for me. He has accepted me through my flaws and imperfections and He STILL loves me! For that I am "Seriously So Blessed"!
16 comments:
I yell at my kids (well, just one so far - I'll give the other one a few more months before she sees my true colors) and my husband rolls his eyes at me daily. They still love me though!
Hang in there, kiddo. You are one of my bestest friends in the entire world and sometimes I just wish you could feel what I feel when I think about you. Keep up the good work. I love you so so much.
p.s. Please add "craft-aholic" back to the list of husband, kids, self, and church calling so we can continue to feed off eachothers' awesome ideas.
Happy Birthday - I don't think I had that kind of insight when I was 27...& it's not a bad thing to "get real" from time to time. Lives are meant to be shared & sometimes life isn't pretty. I yelled at my kids, too...oh wait, you know that already! The point is, those who love us, will love us warts & all! Sometimes we take turns being angels for one another. I love you so so much, too.
I'm glad you are being "real" on here. I think if more moms would be honest about the non blogable stuff then we wouldn't feel so pressured to keep up with something that doesn't exist. Also I have found since opening up recently to a lot of people about where I am it has helped them to not tempt me into commiting to anymore things and having people check in on me at a serious level is really good.
Oh and I vote for the new car... all boobs look good in a good bra and if Jared isn't complaining then who cares... can I still say that even though I am not 100% natural! If I could take out my saline and give it to you I would!
So I never post on your blog but just had to tell you "thanks" for this post. I think all of us understand your feelings and it was nice of you to share. It makes me feel more normal about being a mother.
I love you Cindi. I wish we could be more involved in each others' lives, not only to lift each other but to complain as well!!
You know what helps me? To know that God has commanded us to have peace. If I am not feeling peace in what I am doing, I know I need to reevaluate and adjust (again) to get going in the right direction. Which often means I need to let something go, even if that thing is not a bad thing. Have peace, Cindi. You're not alone.
I think you should add crafty back to the list too! I love all of your ideas :) I always give you credit when people ask! :) I think your great!
Well, we all want/ed to be that "perfect mother" (whatever that is)at some point, but the reality kicks us in the butt sooner or later. I am glad that you have come to grips with that because that is a difficult one and I know some people that still struggle with that. But, with all the changing you are doing, just make sure you keep that sense of humor. That will help make life better and it is okay to "Just Say No" to certain jobs. Keep doing the things that really matter (ie taking care of your family and maintaining your faith in Heavenly Father) and make sure you get some "me" time(that is very important for your sanity).
I love you!
(I have also read
Seriously so Blessed, and it cracked me up)
Happy Birthday!!! It does make me feel better to know you aren't SUPER MOM all of the time!! :) I'm always amazed though to see ALL of the stuff you DO get done!!
You just got a "new car" - better go for the "boobs!"
Go for the boobs! They'll last longer than a car!
Happy Birthday! Thank you for the insight. I needed the reminder.
Thanks for sharing. I always worry about you with so many little ones it is so easy to get wrapped up in them and it is hard to remember what your own needs are. I have a wise friend that I wonder how she does all that she does and when she had her 4th child she said to me "I just lowered my expectations of what I can do during the day and I am doing great!" Since then I have tried to remember that with each new child or responsibility I need to lower my expectations and when I start dropping the balls from my life/juggling act then it is time to get rid of a ball or two so I can keep juggling the other ones. In a few years when kids can go to the bathroom by themselves, make beds, do dishes and go to school you will be surprised how many things you can pick up again. You are in the trenches right now. Hang in there!
Happy Birthday, late. You are a very smart woman to realize you have limits at your YOUNG age! I'm sure you are being too hard on yourself but there is a time and a season for everything. (I think that's your moms line but I'm using now) Your season right now is to enjoy the sweet little one's even though you'd like to lock them out of the house at times. They will be off to college before you know it. But you also need to take some time for you, just to recharge. You are a great mom and I'm sure your house is alot of fun to be in. Love ya P.S. - Did I miss the post about the boob job?
cindi - you remind me of your mom. i can't think of a better compliment.
Cindi, my dear dear friend. AMEN!!!! I love you more every word of this post. I shy away from blogging a lot of the time because (like our conversation on the way down from Park City a few months ago) I don't dig "My life is so perfect...See..here's my blog to prove it..." mentality. I tend to lean toward genuine, sometimes hilariously all-too-real people. Life is too short to try to do everything perfectly, all the time, in every way. YOU are amazing. I love you to pieces.
I look up to you so much. Whenever I had a hard time with just having TWO kids in a row Linda or Becca tell me that Cindi does it with 4 in a row! You are so awesome.
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