We were so excited to get to be involved on this special day. I got to help with a little bit of everything and the midgets got to be the barer of rings and flower girls. It was a magical day for everyone... some people might of said it was the BEST DAY EVER!
I made her this garter cause I'm a cool cat
Nate the great is the BOMB...We love him tons!
We have grown to love all these girls through Madison.
Nate the great is a twin and the kids and I had never met Nick until the rehearsal. The look of confusion on the midgets faces when they saw them standing next to each other was hilarious! Lou turned and looked at me and in the most animated way possible said, "There is two NATES!?" LOL... so much fun!
Lucie Bombed the Father/Daughter Dance... I was very embarrassed but everyone loved it. Including Madison!
Man these Midgets LOVE to Dance! Cori and Jake were on the dance floor for HOURS!!!
Much gratitude to Madison and Nate for letting us celebrate this special day with them. I don't know what I would have done with out Madison. She has been such a ray of light for me during trying times. I will forever be indebted to her for her love and service to my little family. She truly deserves all the happiness in the world. Nate, you are one LUCKY guy... now go make some babies!
Yesterday I gave a talk at Church. Like always, I cried. The topic I was given was Tender Mercies. I referenced Elder David A. Bednars talk back in 2005. It is a great talk.
Here is the talk that I gave...
1 Nephi 1:20... I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender cmercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of ddeliverance.
Everyone on this Earth has the light of Christ and receives Tender Mercies from the Lord. It is not always obvious what these tender mercies are. I look at the Lord's tender mercies as a "light in the darkness." It is anytime the Savior sends you "a most personal & timely message of comfort & reassurance" as Elder Bednar describes it.
When I moved to AZ back in February of 2009, I was scared. We (haha I) felt very deeply that this was a necessary move for our family but I wasn't sure why. We were leaving everything that we knew, family, friends, stability for the unknown. We did not know anyone except for a sibling of my brother in law, and that was more of an acquaintance. My husband had already been in Mesa for about 4 weeks before the kids and I joined him. With a decent amount of anxiety, I flew by myself with our 4 children to our new home. The day after we got here I asked my husband to show us around town. As we drove he pointed out a few of his discoveries and then I asked him to take the kids and I to the Mesa, AZ LDS Temple. The second we were on the grounds of the Temple, I was overwhelmed with the spirit. I began to cry as I felt a warm and comforting reassurance from my Heavenly Father that we where in the right place. This sweet Tender Mercy has given me the strength I have needed to help my little family and I adjust to a new life here in Mesa.
Elder Bednar goes on to testify, "I testify that the tender mercies of the Lord are real and that they do not occur randomly or merely by coincidence. Often, the Lord’s timing of His tender mercies helps us to both discern and acknowledge them."
Almost 6 months ago I was visiting my friends in Yuma over General Conference weekend. My ex and I had recently transitioned to a 50/50 split time with our kids. I went from having my kids full time to having them 50% of the time. To say I was struggling with this new change is a MAJOR understatement. I was feeling extremely sad and lonely, so spending the weekend with dear friends while being uplifted by conference was definitely what I needed. Of course, my sorrows followed me to Yuma. Sunday evening after conference, Danee had invited me to ask her husband Rob for a blessing. My spirits were so low that I was doubtful of anything helping me climb out of this hole. I reluctantly asked Rob for a blessing. I sat there through half of the blessing with nothing registering in my mind. Then Rob's words became very clear as he talked of my Father Jeff, who had passed away over 20 years prior to that evening. Rob was a close family friend growing up but I do not ever remember telling Rob that my Fathers name was Jeff. Rob had told me that my father Jeff was near and his spirit was watching over my children and I in our new home. This personal blessing was a much needed Tender Mercy. It reminded me that my Heavenly Father knows who I am. I do not believe that Rob's acknowledgement of Daddy Jeff was a coincidence... I know it was a direct message of Love and comfort from my Heavenly Father.
Because of the Atonement & the gospel of repentance, we are "given" opportunities to experience tender mercies constantly, but like every "gift" they must be received. We can receive them best when our lives are aligned with the gospel & our hearts are prepared to recognize them. Elder Bednar says, "Our desires, faithfulness, and obedience invite and help us to discern His mercies in our lives."
About a week ago, once again I was struggling with the sadness that often comes with Divorce. Wondering why... how did I end up here... this isn't fair... what next... when will I feel happy... why can't I feel any peace or comfort? Then my phone rang and it was a member of my Bishopric inviting me to speak the following week in Sacrament meeting. When he told me the topic, I thought... Good Grief, how am I going to talk about Tender Mercies? A couple days later while preparing my talk, I sat down and wrote in my journal trying to list all the things that I would have considered a Tender Mercy of the Lord. I was overwhelmed by the amount of Tender Mercies I had received that I had not recognized. My Heavenly Father had been there all along, showering me with His love.
Tender mercies aren't always grandiose & dramatic, they are often the small miracles in our lives that can easily go unnoticed. It has been these tender mercies that have replayed over & over through out my life as the Spirit has testified of simple truths to me... that God Lives, He knows me personally, and He loves me very much.
My Mom recently reminded me of one of my favorite songs, Michael McClain's Which part is Mine. As I became a mother and truly began to identify with the song more, it took on a whole new meaning for me. My favorite part of the song is the chorus where she pleads with heavenly father, “Which part is mine? And God which part is yours” and then later in the song she receives this simple answer...
"After I've done my best, I know He'll do the rest."
That simple line says it all. Because of recent life changes over the past few years, I have gained a better understanding and appreciation for the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am truly grateful for the atonement. I have been blessed with it's healing affects. I know that if I do all that I can, it will be enough. I have a deep love and appreciation for my Heavenly Father. I know that if you take a minute to be still... you will see His tender mercies pouring from heaven and filling your life. I have much to be grateful for.
That right there is all that needs to be said. LOL.
New Years Eve 2012
My first encounter was a pity set up back in September. My girl was throwing me a bone that was in the form of a dreamy 6 ft hunk of a man that was nothing like my ex. 5 min into the date I proposed... just kidding... Hahaha... but seriously, in my head I had planned our wedding and named the 2 extra children I never before thought of... no joke. I gots issues...
It was a very good 1st encounter. It restored my faith in Men and helped me realize that there are still some good guys out there. The tricky part for me was figuring out how to make one like me.
To my shame, I cyber stalked, "butt dialed"(I'm 12) and day dreamed of Professor HUNKledor. It was an out of body experience. I could see myself doing things that I would have done in 6th grade but my inner tween was socially vomiting obnoxiousness way quicker then my 31yr old self could react. Only recently did I come to my senses and realize the stars were never going to align. Truth.
I joined the cyber world of dating in November. Oy...Oy...
Apparently that's how you do this these days. It was hard for me to take it serious at first. Had many good times with my besties giggling over its absurdness (wow, that's actually a word). Mean Girls 3.0. But hey, it was jokes on guys that are on an LDS site who openly admit to never attending church?! Totes Confused! One in particular who's Profile picture resembled that of a paper pic you find in a frame you buy at the store. I had called him out on his irony, which he responded with a, "what are you doing right now. Meet me at the Temple lights." Ummmm... yeah, that's not gonna happen. I am very popular amongst the 50 to 74yr olds... I wish I were lying. I'll be honest, it was a great self esteem boaster for me. However, it got to the point where I would sit at home, cry and wonder how my future was going to come via computer.
So then we get to New Years Eve and I decide to strap on my big girl panties and head to the Mid-Single Adult New Years Eve Dance and Firework Spectacular. {SIGH} That was seriously the title. Hahahaha! I was terrified but knew I had to venture out of my comfort zone and walk the Social Plank. I got ready for the Spectacular, stopped by my friends home so her young adult daughters could pump me up and I was on my way... By myself. I walked in and decided it would be much less awkward if I bee-lined it for the gym as if I was meeting someone there. I made it through the foyer with out a hitch... but in the hallway I hit my first bump. I was stopped by a gentlemen well into his 60ies... "excuse me ma'am, do you work here?"
"What?" I said. Yeah... this is a church dance not a night club. "Um, no I don't work here."
"Oh," he says, "well, do you want to marry me?"
{EYES BUG OUT OF MY HEAD} "No, I'm good, but thanks for asking." I say as I scurry into the gym regretting my decision to even come.
Once I reached the gym safely, I settled down into a seat to scope out my surroundings. There were lots of Geriatric booty poppin' and a solid amount of "special friends"doing a mean air guitar. I awkwardly danced a couple songs by myself and decided that I needed to make a friend. I introduced myself to a couple of random girls who let me camp out safely in their group for the night. By the end of the night I had danced with a few guys and meet some really fun girls. It was a lot of fun despite the awkward start. I'm grateful I am outgoing and have such a positive attitude.
As of today, I have gone on several dates. Had a few crushes. Learned that this is glorified High School. Realized I'm not any better at this now then I was when I was 16. Accepted that I'm aggressive and pursue what I want which is NOT the right way to do dating. There's this thing called "playing hard to get", yeah, I'm not good at it. All in all, I know I'm not ready to be in a relationship but I'm ok with collecting experiences.
So, I'm taking applications for a new husband. If you know anyone that might be interested in the job send me their resume and head shots!
I was so VERY Fortunate to win a social media contest in which I won a FREE Photo session with the FABULOUS Pied Piper!!! I was so Excited to win. I have followed her work for a good 6 years but time, location and finances always got in my way. Luckily for me she was across the Pond (from London) in the fall to treat me with these lovelies of my babes...
Ooooo... I love them BIG! They were PERFECT for our Christmas Cards.
Thanks Lindsay!
PS- I've lost 20 lbs since these pics. just sayin'...
I have been feeling that itch to blog again. The only think that has stopped me has been this HUGE LAPSE of time that has past. It stresses me knowing that there is a gap in this History. So I'm going to fill it with the HAPS from the past year plus.
The HAPS is my family's news letter. Every few months I get a message from my parents asking for the HAPS. A "What's been HAPpening in your life" update. I submit my 3-4 months worth and my mom compiles all 10 families updates and emails it to the family. It has served 2 wonderful purposes with our ever growing family...
1. It has been a pretty solid Family History Record that we have all contributed to since the beginning of MidCart time.
2. We know in more detail what our parents, siblings and cousins our doing.
I am going to share with you my Contributions to the HAPS to fill my gap on the blogs.
***Most of these submissions were in the midst of my Divorce***
October 2011-January 2012
Not sure how to begin this email so... I just wanted my family to know that Jared and I are getting Divorced. We plan on telling the kids this Sunday and are beginning this process on Wednesday of next week. The only reason I am telling you now is because I am seeking your help with prayers as I prepare to tell my children this life changing and sad news. I am scared and need all the strength I can to be there for my children and their needs. I pray that I will be guided in how and what to say to them and that they will feel loved, safe and understand what this means. I also hope that they will be comforted throughout the upcoming changes in their life.
I am not planning on making such a grand announcement to the world yet so your privacy on this sensitive subject will be greatly appreciated. I'm going to lay low on the social media as well. I appreciate all of you and for your support and love throughout this difficult time and the past few years really. I love you all very much! I know that my Heavenly Father is with me and I know that because of that I will be ok. It will all work out and I can do hard things.
Hey Family, I officially Filed for Divorce in February and Jared moved out. He is just a couple miles away which is great for the kids. They are with Jared every other weekend and every Wed afternoon. It's been a BIG adjustment for everyone. School got out in May and it seems like the same week, we sold our home and the kids and I moved to a much smaller home just a 1/2 mile south of our old home. We are back in our previous Ward that we were in when we 1st moved to Mesa except this time our Nanny friend and her family have been added to our Ward! It has been a blessing to me and the kids to be with familiar faces as we transition to our new home. The new home is small, desert landscaping and has a pool! Low maintenance is BEST for this newly single Mom! The kids are staying busy this summer with swim lessons, dive team, and summer camp at a Ward members home. Cori also started official piano lessons! Our divorce should be final early October. Once school starts we are going to try a 50/50 schedule. I hate the thought of it but the state of AZ wants the dads to try. Statistically, the kids are better off spending equal time with both parents. Realistically speaking, not sure if it will work with Jared's schedule but it's worth a try. The thought of only seeing my kids half of their life just rocks me to my core. I have been surrounded by great friends and a Ward family that has supported me and lift me up in times of need. I am forever grateful for the fasting and prayers that have been offered in our behalf. They have truly carried me during this very difficult time. I am constantly uplifted by the tender mercies of the Lord which remind me how much our Father in Heaven loves me. It has been a great source of comfort to me. Thank you all for your love and support. Looking forward to seeing most of you at the reunion! Love, Cindi and kids
Started 50/50 split time with He who must not be named
Cori and Jake started Piano Lessons
I got trained to teach Eyelash Extensions
Went on my 1st date as a newly Single Gal
Went to Washington to visit the Holyoaks
September
Lucie Started Discovery Club
Cori and Lucie started Tumbling
Went to Utah to work (I did Hair, Eyelashes, Taught Eyelashes, & Photography)
Cori began member Missionary Discussions with the Missionaries in Prep for her upcoming Baptism It seems that the next 4 months always seems to be more difficult than the last and I'm finding it hard to sit and reflect and record all its happenings. However, I'm always grateful I've survived. The kids are also doing Great! What a blessing! School has helped tremendously. All of their Teachers are wonderful and very supportive of the children. What a relief. Things are still difficult for me. I was actually doing well until school started. We were so busy this summer that it became easier for me to avoid things. With school starting again I am running into lots of friends from my old Ward and driving by my old neighborhood 3 times a day. It has been a slight set back for me emotionally but I'm dealing with it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- October 2012-Jan 2013
October
Cindi went to Yuma to Visit Danee & Rob Lowry for Conference weekend
Mesa Schools October Break
-Family Pics with The Pied Piper (won a FREE session and photos)
-Open Gym at Desert Devils Gymnastics
-Ostrich Farm
-Schnepf Farms
-Arizona GrandResort for 2 nights
Cori turned 8 years old and went on a special trip with Jared to UT
Cindi turned 31
Mom, Dad, Jill and Baby Gack came to town
Cori got Baptized
Halloween
November
Cindi Voted for President
Went with the Demke Family for Thanksgiving
December
Everyone got sick
Spent Christmas Eve Day with the Demke Family riding Horses
Midgets to Jareds Christmas Eve
Cindi got to have the kids a couple of hours Christmas Day
Cindi spent the rest of Christmas Day with the Beus Family
Cindi went to the Mid-Singles New Years Eve Dance hahahaha
January
Madison (our Nanny friend) got married and the kids were in the bridal party and Cindi did lots to help w/the wedding
October-December was ROUGH!!! Having to do the Holidays after a Divorce is brutal. It was very hard, but I am grateful to have friends like Holly, Alisa, Danee and all The Demke Family. I know Heavenly Father has blessed me with these friendships! Plus, I survived it! Next year should be much easier. Fingers crossed. January 1st, I woke up and it's like the lights came back on. I was ready to say goodbye to 2012 and ready to take on with positivity 2013. I have vowed to be happy this year.
The kids are fantastic! They amaze me every day with their ability to adapt to such an unpleasant situation. I would do well to be more like them. They have been doing well in school this year. Jared and I have discussed with Jason's Kinder Teacher that it is in Jason's best interest to repeat Kindergarten. It was an easy decision since we had discussed it before our divorce. Jason is doing fine in school but we all feel that he would be more confident in his studies staying back one more year. Cori and Lucie are still in Tumbling and enjoying it. Cori and Jake are in piano and love it. Their teacher is awesome! Jake will be starting Basketball in March while Jason plays Flag Football. I tried to talk them both into playing baseball but they were NOT interested. All the Midgets are very close and I am extremely grateful. It has been so fun to watch them love each other and look out for each other. Even when they are all being Spastic and gang up against me... inside, my heart is full because I know they're good friends.
I am dating. It is weird and funny and scary. I've been on a few dates here and there. I feel like I'm doing something wrong and I'm constantly giving myself pep talks in my head, "it's okay. you're Divorced. you're single." Hahaha... It is so weird to be in this spot in life. Dating is much different than it was 10 years
ago and I've learned that I am no better at it at 31 then I was at 16. Same teenage tendencies and rules are there. It's absurd... I'm not looking for anything serious, just trying to move forward and have some fun.
Thank you all for contributing to Cori's Baptism Book. It was such a special thing for me to put it together. I truly feel like that prepared my emotions and spirit for that day. It was a Happy Day and Cori felt loved by her family near and far. I truly am grateful to have you all in my life as well as in my children's life. Our story is unique as well as our love and I wouldn't trade the trials, the blessings or the relationships for anything on this earth. I love you all!
I’m sure 2011 is a year Jared and I will NEVER forget! We should’ve known this year was going to be a rough one as we “rang in the new year” in the Emergency Room and 3 days in the PICU with a very, very sick little boy. Luckily for us, it was just some strain of the Swine Flu… oh wait… that was AWEFUL!!! (He is totally fine now).
But instead of focusing on all the details of our very awful, terribly horrible bad year, we want to share with you the moments that brought us together. It’s amazing how the simple things in life can bring you great comfort and joy in times of struggle/trial.
1.Getaways for Jared and I (Seattle, Vegas, Nashville, Oceanside, Park City/Salt Lake, Lake Powell)
2.Jared participated and completed a 70.3 mile Triathlon called an Ironman.
3.Cindi Turned 30!!! And Jared turn 33 (the number that adorned all his football jerseys)
4.Jared joined a new company as a National Director of Sales and Business Development (May).Go Orthofix!
5.Kids Birthdays: Jake turned 5, Jason turned 4, Lucie turned 3 and Cori turned7.
6.Kids Activities: Music, Swim Team & lessons, Tumbling and Soccer
7.School ending and beginning
We are indeed grateful for all that we have been blessed with. Our children bring us such joy. Plus Jared and I are finding that after all 9 years of marriage we still might like each other. Imagine that! It seems like just yesterday (and FOREVER ago) that we were writing our first Christmas letter. Time moves by so quickly!
As each kid gets older it is bittersweet for us. We are happy to reflect on each special day that they came into our lives and of course, its great to celebrate them. However, it can be bitter because we know that before long, all the awesome disastrous messes and noise that occurs in our home will all too quickly disappear. And one day I hear we will miss it. (WHAT???) These kids… oh they are a piece of work but we sure Love everything about them. We truly are so lucky that we get to be their parents!
We look forward to the upcoming new year with a better then a fresh start. If all goes well (ie: we don’t spend New Years in the ER) I predict that Twenty Twelve will be a great year for the McGrath Family!
We hope you all find Joy & Peace this Holiday Season.
