Fear to Faith

I just got back from 2 fun weeks at the Riverhouse. It was SO what I needed!

I am beyond overwhelmed by the ammount of pics I took and can't even begin to think of how

or when I'm gonna sort through them. So for now, I'm not.

It is no surprise to anyone that I have been struggling for a couple of years now.

If you are surprised by that, well I guess it's appropriate to say, BOO!

My emotions and hormones have been ALL over the place since...

well since I decided it would be fun to have 4 midgets in 3 1/2 years.

Your body would feel a little confused and crazy too!

I have tried a number of ways to try to get my emotional self back together.

After about 4 years I am beginning to feel like I almost have it together. Almost.

I met with my Stake President this morning and was struck by this image he showed me.

by Howard Lyon

The artist lives in my stake which I thought was pretty cool.

Here is what the ARTIST had to say about the picture...

The account in the Gospels of the Savior calming the tempest is a compelling witness of His power and authority over the elements, His compassion and testimony of His divine nature. The story is also a lesson for us of the power of faith.

As children of our Father in Heaven, we will all face trials in this life. There will be times when the sea is raging around us. It may feel as if we are destined to fail, that the storms are too great and that we are helpless to save ourselves.

This painting depicts a range of emotions that we may all relate to when the trials come. Note the disciple on the back of the boat. He is trying to save himself, bailing water from the boat. He looks out at the storm, overcome by fear. As a result, he sits in darkness, he cannot see the Savior. The next two disciples are still trusting in their own strength, trying to right the mast and gather in the rigging, but they have started to turn to Christ and are entering into his light. Standing behind the mast, this disciple has just let go of the sail. After having done all that he could, he is turning towards the savior. His faith is displacing his fear.

The next three disciples are focused completely on the Savior, faith has nearly pushed their fears away. They look in wonder at their Lord, standing calmly before them, Master of all. Lastly, we come to Peter, kneeling at the feet of Christ. Just a moment before, the storm raging, he had the faith to lay his fears completely at the feet of the Lord and he was blessed with peace.

We will all face difficult moments in our life, when it feels that all is lost. We often try to save ourselves, but when we turn ourselves over to the Lord, having done all that we can, He will save us. We will hear those magnificent words spoken in our hearts, “Peace, be still.”

I was very surprised to find out that I was more toward the back of the ship. Probably the one holding on to the mast, THINKING that I could gain control, but just realizing that the only way is through the Lord. What a surprise that was to me to figure that out. I thought I was much closer to the Lord than I really was. I so badly want to be like Peter who is right at His feet. I am hoping to be like that and soon. Submitting completely to the Lords will with out fear, hesitation or pride.

Last night as I was about to hop in bed I was reading one of the many silly blogs I follow, MIM. I was very surprised and inspired about this post. So I have decided to challenge myself to read The Book of Mormon in it's entirety in 60 days. (I get stressed just thinking about it. But it's important so Imma do it.) I have a specific hope/prayer in my heart to have more faith. I believe the faith that I am seeking will come through this process and that I will move from the back of the ship closer to where Peter stands. I invite you to join me.

So on Sunday, October 9, 2011, I plan to have read the entire Book of Mormon.

Wish me Luck!